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meanieweeny:

meanieweeny:

last week I applied to a tea store called teavana and on the application it asked why I left my old job at a pizza place and I said “I guess working in fast food just wasn’t my cup of tea” and it’s been a week and I’m still laughing at myself

update: I got the job

unfollowryanross:

if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence

starllex:

when you see a dog from across the street 

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COOL NEW HACK TO GET MORE ICING FOR YOUR TOASTER STRUDEL

toasterstrudel:

  1. Obtain a significant other from a country that doesn’t sell Toaster Strudel
  2. Marry them and start a family
  3. Offer to make your fam breakfast every morning
  4. Make them strudel with no icing
  5. They’ll have no idea Toaster Strudel even come with icing
  6. Take all six packets for yourself
  7. Avoid making eye contact with your reflection in the mirror for the rest of your life because you are a monster